6 things to be mindful of when Christmas Shopping.
“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas”
As the years progress in life and we find that we have more and more possessions, many people want for nothing. Yet, when it comes to the lead up to Christmas, we start to panic that we haven’t thought about what others want, and when they ask us what we want, do we have an answer?
As much as it would be so galant to say that I want nothing (that would be a big fat lie), I equally don’t want to be gifted unnecessary or expensive items for which I have no use or desire.
When buying a gift for someone be mindful about these SIX things:
Are you buying it because:
YOU like it
Three years ago they happened to say they liked angel statues (replace with any other thing that they said they liked, in an off-the-cuff remark, and now have a cupboard full of “said” items that they don’t want or like)
It is buy 2 gifts and get one free, so that “______ will do for ______ “
They buy you gifts and therefore you return the favour.
You buy them a gift for the sake of it, or feel guilty for not turning up with a gift.
You buy them something because you always have
A few years ago, I had a conversation with three of my closest friends and said that I would love to continue buying them a gift/experience for their birthdays, but with so much expenditure around Christmas, could we discontinue with that? All were relieved and said that would be a great idea, as it was one less person to have to buy for, and going back to the above statement:
As the years progress in life, we find that we have more and more possessions, many people want for nothing.
This year, 2021, has been tough on so many people (colossal understatement). Many thought of 2020 as the shit show, offering hope for so many, it delivered a better year, but it still lacks certainty that so many people crave.Whilst we want to keep the “Spirit of Christmas” and potentially make it the best one yet because of all the upset and disappointment of this year and last, buying gifts won’t fix it.
What could you do instead?
Have an honest conversation with friends and family saying that you are going to put a cap on the amount you spend. (Note: buying Poundland/ Dollar store “tat” also comes under the category of buying things for buying sake). Unless of course it is edible, drinkable or useable in a practical sense. Otherwise it could well end up as a charitable donation in January.
Explain that this year you are only buying for CLOSE family and friends or even narrow it down to those in your household.
Ask for an experience, such as afternoon tea, or perhaps a magazine subscription of choice.
Buy a voucher from a local small business service, as many of them are desperately trying to stay afloat in this current climate.
Offer to take them out for lunch/dinner in the New Year.
Don’t be afraid to say that you haven’t got the funds this year for gifts (easier said than done, but considering how the last few years have transpired, this is nothing to be ashamed of). Maybe they are in the same position?
Finally, ask them what THEY really want, they might surprise you with their answer. Some want a surprise, but MANY do not. If you have asked them, at least you can’t be given the cold shoulder for having bought a kitchen appliance for the fifth year running that is still in the box in the cupboard!
Whilst these ideas may sound reasonable only for adults, children can also be very understanding about presents if you explain to them that they are not going to have a dozen stocking fillers for the sake of it. Many of us over-indulge our children with far too many unnecessary presents. The tree can often be one metre deep in gifts.
Throughout the years I have talked with both my daughters about how fortunate they are. As a family, throughout the year and especially at Christmas we donate to food banks. It is so easy to do, as you notice most supermarkets have a collection point at the front of the shops near the checkout. Pop in a few tins of soup, or a packet of biscuits. Imagine if just 1-10 people did that.
In conclusion, remember: When buying a gift for someone think about those SIX points mentioned above. Let’s create less landfill with cheap goods and ask others whether they want a present or a gift in terms of your time or an experience. When I ask my Mum what she wants from me, she always says “ Just time with you… oh a book token”
She has had Oxfam donkeys and goats and water wells in the past, as her charitable choice, from her children. This year, the same as last, she wants us to donate to Crisis at Christmas. As I look outside at the frost on the cars today, I truly appreciate the blessed life that I have, warmth, food and shelter, the things that we take for granted.
So before you start panic buying gifts, you have around four weeks left to be truly mindful about Christmas spending. So try to really think, before you buy that purchase. Are you going to face January with anticipation and pride, or dread after the Christmas spending?
With love and gratitude,
Siân
