Midlife Insights: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, Explained
“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful.If it’s bad, it’s experience”
Following on from a fascinating podcast last month By Ranjan Chattergee ( Feel Better, Live More) today I am going to explore the profound lessons from Bronnie Ware's book, "The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying." These insights, gained from those nearing the end of life, offer valuable guidance as we navigate midlife and beyond.
1. "I Wish I'd Had the Courage to Live True to Myself"
The first regret reminds us that authenticity is crucial. Midlife is a great time to ask yourself, "Am I living the life I truly want?" It's about following your passions and values, not the expectations of others. When coaching my clients this tends to be one of the most frequently spoken about topics, not just because ‘Being your authentic self “ is a buzz word, but in that in-depth questioning, there is a realisation that most decisions they made, werebased on making choices to please others.
2. "I Wish I Didn't Work So Hard"
Work is important, but the second regret warns against making it the sole focus. Midlife is when we realise the importance of balance and even earlier as we take stock of our opportunities within employment. Remember, life isn't just about career success; it's about cherishing family, health, and personal time. Deciding what your priorities are and creating a healthier work life balance. Learning to switch the laptop off earlier and mute the phone and emails.
3. "I Wish I'd Had the Courage to Express My Feelings"
This third regret underscores the significance of open communication. In midlife, evaluate your relationships. Don't hold back from expressing love, gratitude, or addressing conflicts. It's a chance to strengthen connections. Many of my clients talk about staying in a relationship whether that be with family or in a romantic relationship for much longer that they feel they should have done. Mainly because it was the safe option and stable option. Relationship communication is everything!
4. "I Wish I Had Stayed in Touch with My Friends"
The fourth regret emphasises the value of friendships. As we age, we may lose touch with old friends. Midlife is an ideal time to reconnect, appreciate the joy they bring, and build stronger bonds. It is important to cherish our friendships, even if we go months or years without being in touch. It is never too late to reconnect and start laughing and loving together again.
5. "I Wish I Had Let Myself Be Happier"
The final regret urges us to embrace happiness. Don't wait for tomorrow to be happy. In midlife, assess your choices and prioritise joy. Live without regrets, finding contentment in each day. We spend far too much time looking back at the things we wish that we had said and done. If we can just accept that we are, where we are, to not look back because we are not going that way. To also find joy in new experiences and having wonderful things, however simple to look forward to. Happiness is within… always.
In midlife, we can draw valuable lessons from the top regrets of the dying. These insights encourage us to be authentic, find balance, communicate openly, cherish friendships, and embrace happiness. Let's use this wisdom to make our journey through midlife and beyond one filled with purpose, fulfillment, and a deep sense of authenticity.
My thanks to Bronnie Ware's research into these top five regrets of the dying and to Dr Rangan Chattergee, for his thought provoking interview and for sharing aspects of his personal life.
If you would like to explore deeper, any of the top five regrets above, please get in touch and click here.
I would love to be able to support you,
With love and gratitude,
Siân
